I’ve written a lot about navigating relationship problems brought on by clashing personalities.
Articles like these:
- If You Were To Do ONE Thing To Improve Your Marriage, Make It This
- 7 Secrets To A Successful Introvert-Extrovert Marriage
- 5 Secrets To A Successful Intuitive-Sensor Marriage
- Highly Sensitive Person Marriage: 10 Secrets To Success With A Non-HSP
But my husband and I are celebrating 21 years of introvert-extrovert marriage this month, and instead of always focusing on the problems we’ve had, I felt like writing a more positive post about some of the benefits of being married to your opposite. Because there are lots! 😀
To be honest, I’m mostly just writing this post for fun, but there’s one serious point I want to make too. And that is that the ultimate secret to thriving with clashing personalities is for both parties to learn to appreciate what the other person brings to the table. Instead of thinking in terms of clashing personalities, it helps to think in terms of complimenting personalities.
If I look at my husband and me as a unit, our greatest strength is that we are both introvert and extrovert, intuitive and sensor, HSP and non-HSP. As a team, we can draw on the strengths of all these personality variations.
On the flip-side, I also believe that our greatest weaknesses as a couple are the areas in which we are the same. For example, we are both feeling personality types. And with all three of our kids being feeling personality types as well, can you imagine how much FEELING our household is sometimes drowning in? There are most definitely times when we would benefit from a more objective thinker viewpoint.
So in that spirit, let’s do some celebrating of personality differences!
10 Benefits Of Being An Introvert Married To An Extrovert
1. There’s always someone to talk to.
Even though you’re an introvert, you do like one-on-one conversations. And living with an extrovert means there’s always someone around who’s happy to converse with you.
2. You don’t need to worry about anyone else’s recharging needs.
An extrovert is actually relieved to have his peace and quiet interrupted, so all you have to worry about is yourself getting enough time to recharge. No need to coordinate!
3. He makes all the phone calls.
An extrovert is happy to make all the phone calls in return for never having to plan meals or pay bills ever again.
4. He takes the kids places so you don’t have to.
An extrovert doesn’t mind chit chatting with random semi-strangers, so he’ll readily take the kids to play dates and birthday parties and leave you to enjoy an empty house or one-on-one time with a sibling.
5. He does all the talking.
If you ever do feel compelled to drag yourself to a party or another hoopla where socializing is expected, he’ll do a vast majority of the talking, so you can just tag along as the sidekick and put most of your mental effort into quietly analyzing all the other guests’ Myers Briggs personality types.
6. He’s nice to people on your behalf.
Especially if your extrovert is also a feeler, he’ll make friends with EVERYONE who crosses his path. He’s nice and polite and always knows just what to say to make people feel good about themselves. You would love to spread that kind of joy whenever you go to the grocery store / dentist / your daughter’s dance studio, but you just don’t. have. the. capacity. So instead of doing it yourself, you just feed and care for an extrovert and then send him out into the world on your behalf.
7. You get to stay in the loop.
When he comes back from his excursions, he’ll entertain you with all his stories from “the outside”. With a bit of prodding, you’ll get a bunch of interesting gossip and hear exactly what was said and by whom without having to participate in tiresome small talk yourself.
8. You get to put your listening skills to good use.
You can feel really good about what you, as the introvert, bring to the relationship. You are an awesome listener, for example. Your extrovert can count on you to really pay attention and think about what he has to say.
9. You get the credit for making sure he doesn’t socialize himself to an early grave.
Even extroverts need R&R and you are good at making sure he gets his couch time. Your superb research skills ensure that he always has access to the very best TV has to offer, which lures him to stop and take a breather every now and then.
10. You are quiet, but somehow you still get to have all the say. 😉
Because your extrovert is too busy with the day-to-day, you get to have all the say when it comes to thinking ahead. Nobody competes with you for the roles of planner, scheduler, budgeter, or organizer. Everyone in your household does what you say, because you were the one who took the time to think and make a plan.
What about you?
Are you an introvert married to an extrovert? Do you agree with me? Do you have any benefits to add to my list? Let me know in the comments below!