Highly Sensitive Person: Here’s The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself

By Anni


You don’t need those sunglasses.  It’s not that bright.

You don’t need that jacket.  It’s not that cold.

You can’t be bothered by that smell.  I barely notice it.

You can’t be tired yet.  It’s only eight o’clock.

You don’t want to go home yet.  This is so much fun!

When you are a highly sensitive person, these are the types of things people say to you.  All. The. Time.

Innocent remarks.  From well-intentioned people.  Who innocently imply that your experiences are not real and well-intentionally invalidate the shit out of your feelings.

It starts when you’re a child.  When you’re the only person who gets a headache from the paint smell.  When you’re the only person who needs to wear that silly hat outside to protect your eyes.  When you’re the only person who startles so easily.

It gets worse as you grow.  When you’re the only person who gets overwhelmed by emotions.  By people.  By life.

And you start believing those people.  You start believing that you are the only one.  That there is something wrong with you.  That you must be crazy.

You start berating yourself for being so sensitive.  You start berating yourself for FAKING being so sensitive.

Because you must be faking it.  Because it can’t be real, right?

How could your feelings be real when so many people are telling you your feelings are wrong?

So you stop trusting yourself.  You stop listening to your feelings.  You stop responding to them.  You stop addressing them.

You decide to live like they do.  You decide to fake it until you make it.

Except you never do make it.  You put on a good enough act, but inside you feel worse and worse and worse.

And tired.  Always tired.

You don’t do anything about it.  Because those feelings aren’t real, right?  You are not really tired, blinded, nauseous, achey, stressed out, overwhelmed.  That’s just the crazy in you making you think you are.  So you don’t do anything about it.

Until you just can’t keep it up anymore.  You break down.  And they can’t fix you.  They try.  You gotta give them that.  They try with their protocols and medications and scientific research papers.

But they can’t fix you.

Because their fixes were not formulated for the likes of you.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), this is for you.

Because the only person who can fix you is you.

Dear highly sensitive person, you have the power to heal yourself.

All you need is to trust yourself.  All you need is to trust your own experience.  Trust that your feelings are real.  And then address them.

Start listening to your own body.  Start paying attention to your own intuition.

Start giving your body and your mind what they need.

Sleep when you are tired.  Escape the chaos and overwhelm when it gets to be too much.  Protect yourself from the discomfort.  Make your own definition of fun.

Rest.  Recharge.

Let their voices go in one ear and out the other.

Listen to your own inner voice.

It will tell you what you need to do to thrive.

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About the author 

Anni

Hi! I'm a life coach, a Certified MBTI® Practitioner, and a mentor for stressed out introverts and highly sensitive people. I used to be one myself! My mission is to help you discover your true self and create a life you ACTUALLY like.

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  1. I am so glad i found your blog, i am 56 years old and i have memories as a three year old being berated my mother.

    I have always been different and feel so foolish and am labelled a neurotic by my husband and family members because i feel exactly the way you have described. I have spent countless hours at the physcolgist trying to fix myself and not to mention the financial cost. Thank you so much.

    1. Hi Judy, thank you for reading and commenting. I used to think I was neurotic too, but now I know I just need more rest and quiet time than most. It’s a pretty cheap fix! 🙂

      1. People would think I was silly when I would comment about a smell too much bright light or too much noise. I had to leave the walking track at the gym yesterday it was just too noisy.

    2. Judy I feel you! There’s nothing wrong with us 🙂 We are just a little different (I personally feel like the sensitive person is more “in tune”, as I know I definitely am!)

      Loved this article, I can relate so much. Listening to and trusting one’s self is a skill I’ve learned over the years and now being 31 I think I’ve actually gotten pretty good at!

  2. I’m really enjoying your blogs. I’m having the most problems as a Christian HSP because I feel guilty when I don’t like someone. I’ve been told all my life to be a good girl, and that feels so bad not to like them, even though they stress you out continually and there is a good reason not to like them. So, I’m trying to not feel guilty listening to my own intuition. They are wearing me out.

  3. Hi,

    As I read this article, tears rolled down my cheeks. I feel as if I wrote this myself. There are so few of us out there, that I never knew we existed growing up. Now that I know I am an HSP, I see that half the people in my family are as well. I am so happy that I found this out to be able to guide my HSP daughter through life hopefully less scarred than me. Thank you so much for all of your advice!

    1. Hi Kellie, thank YOU for reading and commenting. I suspect one of my kids is an HSP too, so I know first-hand what you mean. At least we can make sure our kids are better equipped to deal.

  4. My name is Ella I was always the different one in my family someone about a month ago that I was going to for sacral cranial therapy know said you’re one of the sensitives and I had to have her explain what that meant no one had ever said that to me as a new baby home from the hospital my mom and dad said I cried constantly and could not be comforted but now it would make perfect sense I was probably over stimulated by light sound noise now that I know this I can tell when things are really getting to me. I had heart surgery in February and my anxiety has been through the roof. I am learning ways to calm my self. I had to start a low dose of medication it helps with sleep appetite and the anxiety. I hope to only need the medication for a short time. Thanks for the blog and comments.

  5. God Bless you Anni for bringing “light” to the highly sensitive personality, figuratively speaking of course. My whole life I have felt than everyone else. I can cry at the drop of a pin, so sensitive to nature, music, animals etc. I “feel” things so deeply that I do have a hard time bouncing back from a disappointment in any aspect of life. I would love an article on how to bounce back from hardships as a HSP. I haven’t run into one person in the last several years that once I said I am a HSP, that they knew what it meant. I didn’t realize myself until about 4 years ago and I am 55. My family thinks I am crazy and a narcissist if I talk about my feelings or emotions, I’m so emotional, they think I want to fight all the time. I have been detaching from them for years. I was hospitalized at one point for depression/anxiety. Not one therapist over the years diagnosed me with being a highly sensitive person. I’m also VERY aware of other people’s behaviors and moods and it all affects me to one degree or another. Is that also part of being a highly sensitive person? I am very aware of my surroundings, almost super aware to emotions and feelings. Over the years, I began to believe my family that think I am crazy emotional. Your articles have been very enlightening. Please continue to write about this unknown personality trait.

    1. Hi Mary, I agree there’s not nearly enough awareness about high sensitivity. It’s frustrating, but I hope my website is helping to change that a little bit.

      Yes, being aware and affected by other people’s moods is very much a part of being a highly sensitive person. This article talks about some ways to deal with that: https://www.solutionstoallyourproblems.com/empaths-hsps-how-to-protect-your-energy/

      And thank you for the article idea! That’s a good one and I have added it to my list.

    1. Interesting question! I think a narcissist could have some sensory issues or physical sensitivities, but if you use the definition of HSP discussed in this article, then the answer is no. According to that definition, HSPs have high levels of empathy, which is something narcissistic people lack.

  6. Thanks, I love this post, it validates that I’m not weird. When I was a child and well into being a teenager I was terrified of Fireworks, loud chain saws noise, or any loud noises as a matter a fact. I didn’t understand it at the time, I still don’t like alot of noise but I know how to handle it better now. I’m a highly sensitive soul and an empath, I only recently discovered what type of person I am, I had no idea I was any of this, I was just puttering along through life wondering what was wrong with me. I’m 58 yrs old and finally being to understand myself. I hope others find your post and are helped earlier. Thanks Again!!

  7. I am so thankful I found your blog. I am 65 years old and I have spent my whole life feeling all the things you have mentioned above and thought there is something wrong with me! Especially the “your not going to bed yet its only 8 o’clock”. When the whole family gets together and there is a lot of over stimulation and I am the only one that yes, has had enough and wants quiet and sleep! I leave and they all wonder if I am depressed and need medication!? Sometimes you feel like a freak. So, thank you!

  8. THANK YOU! I have felt so alone my whole life believing there was something wrong with me. That I was “too” sensitive or I “ overreact”. When really I feel things do much it overwhelming. I also struggle with drug and alcohol addiction. Since I was 15 and I am now 28. ( currently seeking help) but I use them to numb all of my emotions that I feel I can’t control. Any advice?

    1. Hi Shelbie,

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Dealing with intense emotions is definitely something that many HSPs struggle with. It’s been helpful for me to learn to think of emotions as reactions to the environment or circumstances I’m in. Emotions carry valuable information, and even though they can be super uncomfortable, they are worth paying attention to. With that being said, my approach has been two-fold:

      1. I have slowly worked toward changing my environment and circumstances so that there is less for me to react to. I prioritize self care and rest, do my best to avoid difficult people, and lead a low-key calm lifestyle in general. This means that there’s a lot less for me to react to and there isn’t SO much emotional stuff going on that it becomes totally overwhelming.

      2. Whenever I do get emotional, I try to hone in on what caused it and then do something to address it. For a lot more detail about my process, you might want to check out my Conquer Your Overwhelm and Conquer Your Anxiety courses. You can find them by clicking here.

      Take care,
      Anni

  9. I am stumbling across your articles today… thank you… thank you for speaking your truth in such a way that my soul feels more at peace! It’s refreshing for me to read my own thoughts in your writing. I appreciate you for being so brave and honest and putting this out into the world. Truly, thank you!

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