I’m in a pretty good place in life right now. I love my work. I have a few side passions I’m pursuing. My marriage is solid. And with school starting back up tomorrow, I’m even feeling positive about parenting. 😉
But my life wasn’t always looking this rosy. As a matter of fact, I spent nearly two decades of adult life walking on the wrong path.
Sure, those years weren’t all bad.
But even at the best of times I always felt a little off – like I was waiting for the day when my “real” life would start. When I would finally feel like there was some meaning behind all this. When I would feel good about where I was at and what I was doing.
And during the worst of times… Well, I guess I had to hit some pretty rough spots in order to finally be forced to do something about it all.
But just suffering alone wasn’t enough to start the process of change. In order for me to finally take action to get on the right path in life for me, three other things had to happen – three crucial mindset shifts that I believe are the prerequisites for changing your life.
3 Prerequisites For Changing Your Life
1. You Have To Believe It’s Possible
The longer you’ve been stuck on the wrong path, the harder it becomes to believe that it’s even possible to change your life. Feeling unfulfilled is your normal and has been your normal for so long that you have just resigned yourself to the fact that “this is the way it’s always been so this must be the way it always will be”.
So you don’t even try anymore. Because why bother?
However, when your mind wakes up to the fact that it’s POSSIBLE to feel better, you become motivated to take action.
This is how the Law of Attraction works by the way. It’s not that the universe is out there scheming about who gets what. 😉 It’s that the Law of Attraction story tricks people into believing that their dreams are within reach, so they start taking action to turn their dreams into reality.
And because they take action and keep at it even when the going gets tough – fueled by their belief that it’s possible – their dreams actually DO become reality. 🙂
2. You Have To Adopt A Growth Mindset
People with a fixed mindset believe that their skills and abilities are set – they can not be developed. You have not been able to change your life in the past, so therefore, you will never be able to change your life.
And thus, you don’t even try. Cause what’s the point?
However, when you have a growth mindset, you understand that your skills and abilities can develop over time. You are not stuck! There are insights that you have not yet been exposed to. There are techniques you have not yet learned. There are ideas that have not yet occurred to you.
There is untapped potential inside of you!
Think about where you were 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago… Think about everything you know now that you didn’t know then.
And then think about 2 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now… Think about how much FURTHER you could learn and grow and develop in that amount of time!
3. You Have To Understand That Sometimes Change Can Be Subtle And Incremental
When I was 19 years old, I squeezed my most important belongings into two suitcases, left my native Finland behind, and moved to the other side of the world.
Now, this would qualify as a DRASTIC life change.
And for the longest time, this was how I thought about life change. It had to be something drastic. Huge. Obvious to everyone.
Unfortunately, viewing life change in this manner held me back later in life. By the time I had joined the job-mortgage-marriage-kids crowd, I thought my days of life change were over. Because I wasn’t about to pack those suitcases again and disappear on my family.
To eventually move forward, I had to understand that, yes, sometimes drastic life change is very much required, but that there is another, more subtle way to change your life too.
When I changed my life the second time around, not that many people noticed. By the time I was through with my transformation, I was still living in the same house with the same mortgage with the same husband and the same kids. Technically, even my workplace stayed the same, because I was working from home both before and after.
But although my transformation was invisible to most outside observers, pretty much EVERYTHING about my life changed. The setting stayed the same, but I changed. I changed what I was doing and how I was doing it. I changed the way I related to my husband and kids. I changed the way I related to other people outside my immediate family. I changed what I was doing for work. I changed the way I spent my free time. And perhaps most importantly, I changed the way I took care of myself.
Little by little. Incrementally. One baby step at a time, I moved toward a new life.
A completely different life. A much better life.
My only regret is not going after it sooner.
Not believing it was possible sooner.
Not opening myself up to all the ways it was possible for me to grow.