5 Life Lessons I Wish I Had Learned Sooner As A Highly Sensitive Introvert

By Anni

Have you ever experienced moments of clarity in your life that make you go “shit, I wish I had thought of that sooner”?  Moments when you arrive at some profound truth about yourself or your life that is so amazingly helpful you almost want to print posters and plaster them all over town. Or hand out pamphlets. Or go all crazy shouting at people on the street corner.

Except you are way too introverted for that, so you just decide to write an article about it. 🙂

Here are five important life lessons I wish I – as a highly sensitive introvert -had learned sooner.

These five important life lessons have been so amazingly helpful I only wish I had learned them sooner!



I’m going to veer toward the cheesy here and admit that I sometimes like to think of my life as a story. A long novel with a worn cover and brittle pages filled with row after row of tiny text.

But for much of my life, I have felt like I somehow landed in the wrong book. I’m the green alien in a book about Normalville.

So for much of my life, I have felt like there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. Most of the other characters in this book seem to like living in Normalville and going along with “the way it’s always been”. Wtf is the matter with me?

I’ve tried acting more like the other characters. I’ve tried being angry at the other characters. I’ve tried ignoring the other characters.

And I can tell you all of it was exhausting.

Until I decided that this was my story to write. If I wanted a different setting, a different plot, and different dialogue, that was up to me to create.

It’s not wrong to be different.

It’s not wrong to want something different.

That’s all it is – just different.

Inspirational Quotes || Quotes About Change || Until I decided that this was my story to write.


Sometimes when we are young we fall in love with ideas of who we think we want to be. And sometimes people around us, or even the society at large, send us subtle messages of what kind of people we should aspire to be.

When I was younger, I thought I wanted my story to be an action adventure. Until I tried it and ended up exhausted and overstimulated.

More recently, I convinced myself that I needed to tick every single box in the Ideal Mother check-list as specified in Hallmark cards. Until I tried it and ended up so miserable, it was causing my kids more harm than good.

The more you figure out what ACTUALLY brings you joy, the more you can arrange your life to bring you those things. The more you figure out what your natural strengths and weaknesses are, the more you will be able to give the gift of your greatest strengths to others.


I often find it hard to let go of a vision I had even when my intuition insists I’m headed down the wrong highway 90 miles an hour.

It sucks to admit to myself that I’ve made the wrong choice or that the choice that worked for a while no longer does.

What about all the time and effort I put into that career or that relationship? Will I be a quitter? Should I just throw some more effort at it and hope it’ll feel good again?

I have learned that when my gut tells me it’s time to move on, the sooner I do it the better. The sooner I’ll be able to apply the lessons to another venture.

So when a chapter in your book is not going where you wanted it to, close it with the lessons you learned and move on to the next one.

Quotes About Moving On || Inspirational Quotes || When a chapter in your book is not going where you wanted it to...


I’m a highly sensitive person. Put me in the wrong setting and I just kind of crumble.  Settings with high drama and constant conflict.  Settings where this or that agenda is more important than people’s well-being.  Settings where it’s all about louder, brighter, and more.  I crumble into tiny particles that someone has to sweep off the floor.

Some would say I should just grow thicker skin.

I would say I’m not the one with the biggest problem.

Which brings us to the last lesson…

Quotes About Confidence || Inspirational Quotes || If you can't adapt to a crazy situation, you are not the one who is crazy.


Since I’m the author of my story, it’s up to me to decide who the main characters are.

In the past, I’ve given some people chance after chance, even though my intuition was telling me early on that these people were only going to create uncalled for dramatic twists.

It’s sad but true that some people, for whatever reason, don’t have your best interests at heart. These days, I’m much quicker to go for “delete” on the villains and focus my energies on friendly characters.

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About the author 


Hi! I'm a life coach, a Certified MBTI® Practitioner, and a mentor for stressed out introverts and highly sensitive people. I used to be one myself! My mission is to help you discover your true self and create a life you ACTUALLY like.

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  1. Oh, I love this! Definitely wish I’d learned number 1 and number 5 sooner. If hindsight was 20/20.

    1. Thank you for commenting Faith! I agree it’s hard not to doubt yourself, especially if other people around you go along with the garbage behavior. I think as I have gotten older I’ve just become less willing to tolerate shit from anyone. 🙂

  2. I have come to many of the same conclusions you have, ( much later in life than you,). I have taken the job as my own therapist a long ti e ago. many of your insights and tips have given me more tools in my bag of tricks. Thank you for sharing. I am sure I would much enjoy an evening of meaningful conversation with you. ( in the ideal place). ?✌

  3. I’m weird too. Infp your insights are spot on, but you already know that. Problem is depression sucks out all motivation.( I won’t see a doctor for depression. I’m certain they cant help me. Diet and exercise has helped, but i fall off. What can I say,there was cake.) Passion? I forget. Self doubt,not fitting in,feeling alone,always alone these I cannot forget.(Not the good kind of alone ,but the I’m in the twighlight zone kind of alone) I’ve slowly learned as I approach 51yrs old,the majority of people won’t or can’t understand me and I’m ok with it,but they aren’t. I have faced crushing criticism my entire existence. I’ve been a people pleaser most of my life. Not to the extreme,but it was there. That is even more devastating than being the outcast.
    Thanks for your writings. I will bookmark and reread them.

    1. Hey, thanks so much for reading and for commenting. I see a lot of myself in your comment. Basically, I could have written it word for word in not too distant past. So I can tell you that most of that suckery can definitely be overcome and I hope some of my writings help you do just that.

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